As the Final Curtain Falls
by The.Squint
Summary: A scene I created based around my theory of how Ashes to Ashes will end... Will Alex get home?
1. Who is he if he is only her figment?

**Hello everyone! **

**Having guessed the ending to Series One correctly I decided that I would try and guess the ending of season three and came up with this theory 5 minutes into season 2 episode 1... From this theory I created this scene and I hope you enjoy it and I would love to know what you thought, if you have any theories of your own?**

**Some of you may notice similarities between this and the season finale of Life on Mars, but these are deliberate as there does seem to be many similarities between Ashes to Ashes and Life on Mars =D**

**Oh and I do not own Ashes to Ashes ... *looks sad***

**Anyway, I hope you like it...**

* * *

She couldn't breathe, not one breath.

Her lungs had failed her and the air that was always so willing had now deserted her.

Her mind screaming to her and yet she couldn't hear it.

She could do nothing.

Her eyes scanned the room, filled with chairs, tables, paperwork, rubbish, pencils, pens; everything down to the smallest paperclip and it was _then_ that the true extent of what she had learnt finally hit her.

The tears began to fall, silently at first but soon the pressure within her chest became too much and a sound erupted from her, one like she had never heard.

It was almost as if past of her was dying.

That's what it felt like.

She covered her mouth over with one of her trembling hands, for fear of vomiting.

Her eyes spilt like waterfalls.

Then she heard him, his footsteps echoing through the corridors slowing growing louder and louder, but she had no energy to run, she tried to contain the tears but it was impossible and so all she could do was wait for him to find her. Which he did of course, who wouldn't find a hysterical woman shaking uncontrollably, but seeing him only reminded her of it all, which in turn caused her to sob harder.

He practically ran to her where she stood in the middle of his office. Grabbing her arms with his hands she felt his skin against her.

"_And you are a bloody figment"_

She looked into his eyes, just a glistening blue haze through her streaming brown ones, his hair windswept and his face half hidden in the darkness of the office. He was wearing that coat, the alcohol stained, smoke infested, black coat that while walking through the shadows of the streets of London gave him a kind of mystery that was so appealing.

She dropped her gaze onto his chest and a memory resurfaced.

She reached out until her hand rested on his heart, she felt it beating, racing in fact, roaring like the lion he was.

"_Look at you; it's beating, that's incredible"_

He looked at her as if she were mad, which maybe she was, she felt like she was.

She shakily inhaled and spoke through the tears.

"This must be what it feels like to be mad"

Her chest unable to gain a steady breath as the tears kept falling.

"Tell me what's hurting yer" his voice that was once so soothing only caused her more pain, because she knew now, she _knew_ and she wished she didn't.

"It's..."

She couldn't even bring herself to say it, something she had said so often when she first arrived and now the thought alone caused her such a gut wrenching sadness she didn't think she would ever recover.

If she had worked this out from the start then it wouldn't have been this hard, in fact it would have been almost a victory on her part, but now it felt as if her wall were falling down around her, leaving with nothing and nobody.

"_What if you're real?" _

"It's not real, none of it" with this sentence her heart broke, shattered into a million pieces.

"Alex, what are yer talkin' about?"

She managed to control her raging emotions and steady her breathing, her eyes continued to leak tears though and she didn't think they would ever be dry again.

"I know now, I know how I can get home, but... but I..." Her chin began to quiver once more the soul shaking sobs were rising from her again.

Worried etched within his face while his eyes shone with fear, having spent so much time with him now she could understand and read him like nobody else.

His voice became fast and panicked, like it had been when he had found her in the warehouse, after Martin Summers had kidnapped her, did that mean... surely he was real, if nothing else?

"Alex... Alex! Look at me, tell me... tell me what's wrong"

But her mind was only thinking about Martin Summers, he had to be real, he knew everything that was happening in the other world, the _real_ world.

Then it hit her.

"He knew" her voice barely audible.

"Knew what? Who is 'e ... Alex, talk to me Alex!"

"_Clocks ticking. I've got until 50ml's to beat the infection that's killing me, that's you by the way"_

"_You think I'm the rut, that's Ironic_"

"He was never the infection"

"Alex talk ter me" with his hand still clenched around her arms he shook her roughly and moved his face within inches of hers, so close she could smell him, feel his heat against her. Her sobs stopped as her eyes darted between his, the tension almost unbearable.

"Why can't this be real?"

He released his grip on her and his teeth clenched.

"_You're taller than I imagined"_

"_Well he's tall, some may say handsome, some may say the devil made flesh"_

Then the weight of it all feel onto her shoulders and she collapsed into a chair, staring at nothing because she couldn't bear to look at Gene now, she could feel his eyes on her and she knew he was looking at her in a way that would break what little strength she had left.

Silence over came the tiny office, the kind of silence that deafened whomever was near it. All the pain that she was feeling moments ago seemed to leave her, her body in a state of shock, yet she knew that when this blessed numbness left her, the pain that would follow may be too much to handle and so she decided she would tell him everything _now_, before she couldn't.

She still wouldn't look at him, not while he looked at her in that way.

"Sam had to destroy you to get home, you were the tumour in his head and now you're the infection Gene, what's keeping me here" her voice was almost low and quite.

"_You're not going anywhere until I say so, and I don't say so"_

He didn't respond, she didn't expect him too and so she continued.

"I've been thinking about it, all the little things because I forget one very important rule here; everything is significant. _Everything_ down to the smallest of things and maybe if I hadn't had become so distracted with it all I could have seen it before now, what this place really is... what it isn't" she almost felt the atmosphere in the room change, become heavier.

"I should have seen it before now; I should have seen it after the dream months ago, why didn't I see it? I was falling in the dream and it was so cold... so cold, just like when I had been shot, why didn't I make the connections? How could I not have seen that dream for what it was; a message from my subconscious telling me that _after_ being shot I landed in your world? Not mine and not even Sam Tyler's, but yours... You're in control of this Gene and you don't even realise it. All this time I was fighting to get home, fighting to save my parents, fighting the corruption, fighting Martin Summers and all along... all along it was you, my constant, my Gene Hunt"

She could feel the numbness begin to wear off and it felt as if her entire insides were being crushed, slowly and painfully. This was tearing her apart piece by piece.

"_In your dreams"_

"_I certainly 'ope so"_

"Now I don't know if you're dead or if you're in a coma like me"

"_Why don't yer tell me another time like maybe when I'm in a coma or when I'm dead"_

"But I think that you've been here so long you've forgotten, because I've already forgotten my own daughter's name. I can't picture her now no matter how hard I try" she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to picture her in that moment, but there was nothing but darkness.

"Sam's only way of getting home was to destroy you, what if it's the same for me?"

His silence said it all, he may of looked at her like she was mad, but she was certain that he was thinking it in this moment.

"_You presence is required a little longer round here by me"_

"So that yer plan was it, destroy me so's you can get ''ome'? Wake up from yer 'coma'" His almost spat the last sentence at her, his voice was stern and different from the concerned tone it was only moments ago.

She finally looked at him and instantly regretted it, his face was like that of the day when he formally suspended her, filled with disgust and despite how much he tried to hide it she could see the hurt in his eyes causing a painful shock to pulse through her.

"No, I've never had a plan and I would rather stay here then have to hurt you in that way"

"Oh well thank yer very much, do yer want a medal?"

"I need you to believe me"

"Y'know I thought we 'ad moved on from this shit"

"It's the truth"

"Don't use words you don't understand Drake" his voice sharp.

"Please don't be angry – "

"Don't you dare. Don't-you- dare." Her eyes broke from his for a moment and she saw that his hands were folded into tight fists "Yer know there was a time I thought we 'ad a connection but not anymore, this is one step too far. I used to think I knew scum on first site, but yer a whole new kind of scum"

It took all of her energy to stand as face him "No, you have to trust me when I say that I didn't expect this, didn't want this, any of it, but I'm here Gene and I need to get back, I just have to and only you can let me"

"You know I don't even think you know what the truth is anymore you've become so wrapped up in all yer lies. Yer not the woman I thought you were"

"Yes I am...You know me just like I know you"

"The woman I knew was Alex Drake... My Bolly, but I see now it was a lie, all of it"

"I'm here, I'm still me, still Bolly –"

"Don't you use that name" his voice so forceful.

"Dammit Gene why can't you just see that this is killing me as well, that part of me wishes I could just forget like you and live a life here, but I can't. Try to understand where I'm coming from..."

"You dare sit there like yer are the victim in this Drake and I swear to god that I cannot be 'eld accountable for my actions"

"I know that this sounds insane –"

" – Well isn't that the understatement of the century"

"But please, please you have to believe me... Sam... Sam he had an accident in 2006 and, like me, he woke here with you –"

Gene interrupted with a voice that would silence the hardest of criminals.

"Don't yer mention his name... now you can say what yer like about me, 'ell yer can even 'ate me but if yer compare yourself ter Sam one more time I will throw you out of this station personally and I won't look back"

She swallowed. She could see he was serious.

"I have never lied to you" her voice trembling.

Their eyes held she knew that he was holding back a fiery rage.

They just stared at one another, his cold blue burning with a true rage. She couldn't argue anymore, couldn't speak, she didn't have the strength anymore. The blessed numbness that she had felt had melted away leaving her feeling as if she were dying. She would give anything for things to go back to the way they were before, but she couldn't and she knew that they never would. Then a thought occurred, _what if she never did get home? What if Gene never let her go? After what had been said tonight would he completely abandon her? Hand her over to the men with the white coats?_ She could feel them, the tears, burning their way through and soon they began to fall and yet he didn't take his eyes off her and she didn't take her eyes from him.

"Don't... Don't leave me on my own... You're all I have here"

"It 'urts don't it? That's because it's real... _this_ is real" she knew what he was saying, that what they had between them, _that_ connection _was_ real and all what he had said tonight he didn't mean, not really, and he was giving her a chance, a chance to fix it, one _final_ chance. She could see that he was laying his heart on the line...again, and it broke hers in the process because she knew she could never respond in the way either of them wanted too, no matter how much she wanted him or how much he wanted her, because she had a daughter, and she was waiting for her.

"_I thought you n' me, we were the ones we 'ad a connection"_

"The connection we have is real, it's very real, but this" she looked around room "This just isn't real and I know that now and Gene I need you... I need you to let me go" her heart protested at her statement.

"So that's it is it? I'm supposed to jus' 'let yer go'? Wave yer off at the magical door to the future?" his tone seemed too had quietened slightly and she knew that he was feeling the emotional exhaustion she was.

"I don't know"

"Then what Drake? What do yer want me ter do?"

"Let me go home"

"What the bloody 'ell is that supposed ter mean?"

"Part of you must still want me here or else I would be home... You just need... Just..." she didn't actually know herself, but for some reason it all make sense to her now, after two years of madness. "You have to want me to go"

"'fraid I can't do that"

"Why?" her voice desperate.

"'cause I want yer to stay" he broke eye contact with her and began to pace around the tiny office "and I shouldn't, I should want ter see the back of yer after what you've said 'ere tonight, but... we don't 'ave much; thankless job, shit pay, crappy apartments, but I thought I 'ad yer back and you 'ad mine. I thought I 'ad you..." he stopped pacing and stood very still "and now yer want to bugger off someplace else"

"I don't want to, I _have_ to" she was finding it increasingly difficult to speak through the tears.

"Yer don't 'ave ter go" his voice then was so painfully honest, showing the true extent of his hurt.

"_I know why yer 'ere bolls, yer only had ter ask"_

She slowly made her way over to him where he stood by the side of his desk, only the distance of three steps and yet it seemed to take a lifetime to reach him. He didn't protest as she placed her hand on his chest once more, feeling his heartbeat, that incredible heartbeat if his.

"You knew from the moment I arrived here that I would leave, I always said that I was going home" both so exhausted that neither could bear to shout, they spoke in almost whispered tones.

"Yer but I didn't count on gettin' attached ter such a posh-mouthed tart now did I?"

"And who'd thought that I would have fallen for you, a border-line alcoholic with a superiority complex"

She stared up at him and fell into his eyes, feeling for the first time since finding the truth out about this place so safe and peaceful and part of her wished she could just stay with him here, in the moment forever.

Her eyes darted between his blue and feeling that her time was running short, she leaned in and felt his lips lightly press against hers. His lips rough against her soft ones, nicotine stained against her pink ones. It was not rough with the rage of passion and arousal nor was it soft with cautiousness. The kiss was nothing more than what it was, it was not an invitation for more, nor was it an denial, it wasn't the start of something nor was it the end, It was simply the expression of feelings, feelings that had such depth and that could never be said aloud. Yet despite never being uttered they were known and shared within that kiss. In that moment she wished that it would never end, because it was only _then_ that she realised how strongly she felt for this man, how she needed him, but she knew it was too late because that kiss was her way of saying goodbye.

She knew it and he knew it.

She heard it, the beeping of her heart monitor and knew she was waking up, she was finally going home and she felt her heart tear down the centre one half belonging and begging her to stay with Gene while the other pushed her towards her daughter. The sounds grew louder and louder and soon all she could see was white.

"_Bolly_"

His voice sounded like an echo within her mind as she stretched her eyes apart finding herself in a white room with plenty of flowers and cards, welcoming her back to the world of 2008 where she had been lying in a coma for just under two weeks.

Pain weighed down her entire body and yet inside she felt empty. He was gone. All of it was gone.

None of it was real; she knew that from the start and yet now as she lay there waiting somebody to realise her all she wanted to do was be back in that kiss and feel safe with him once more.

_Gene Hunt. _

Just the thought of his name caused tears to fill her eyes.

"_You've only said one word since you've been at the hospital. Just the one; Gene"_

What would she do without him now? He had been her lifeline, her constant, her everything for over two years, she couldn't even think of a life without him. She didn't want to.

Then she saw her, her whole reason for being back, her reason for living; her daughter came walking into the room holding a cup of water which she dropped instantly upon seeing her mother's eyes open and on her.

"Mum?"

She couldn't breathe, not one breath.

Her lungs had failed her and the air that was always so willing had now deserted her.

Her mind screaming to her and yet she couldn't hear it.

She could do nothing.

She just stared at her daughter and felt the tears begin to fall, she was more beautiful then she could have ever remembered, just to see her face, to see her smile, everything she had ever forgotten seemed to flood her mind.

Before she knew it she was holding the sobbing girl in her arms and she fit so perfectly. She wanted to speak to tell her how much she had missed her, how she would never leave her again, how she loved her beyond everything else in _this_ world, but she couldn't, she just held her until neither could cry anymore.

Doctors soon filled the room and the tests began with plenty of following bright lights and fingers, questions that a newborn baby would know the answer to and soon she was discharged.

Standing at the foot of her hospital bed, collecting up the last of her cards to take home she allowed herself to remember, which she had refused herself to do since waking up, but now she felt like she had to. She _had_ to remember them; their faces, their voices, their smiles, because she knew that may not be real, but to her they were. They were more real than most the people walking around beyond the hospital walls because those "figments" had more life in them then she had ever owned and she promised herself that she wouldn't forget them, she would keep them alive in her memory.

Then she thought of Gene and her eyes burned once more and she wondered how long it would be before his name no longer caused her a gut wrenching pain. He was real, she was sure of it. He was in control of it, everything, it was never _her_ world it had always been his. Surly then... surly he was real, in this world, maybe everything she had said to him had been right and he was in fact in a coma himself. If he was, if he really was real then she could find him, she could see him again –

Her thoughts were interrupted as Molly walked into the room.

"Mum? Evan is waiting in the car"

She pushed down the tears and forced on a smile.

"Okay Molls, I'll be right there"

She promised herself one more thing before leaving the hospital room; if Gene Hunt was real she would find him.

__________________________________________________________________________________**_____**

**So please let me know what you thought and depending on what you guys think I may write another chapter for this one ... Thanks so much for reading and I really hoped you enjoyed it!**


	2. His name was Gene Hunt

**Well after the amazing response from the first chapter, which I would like to thank you all very much for, I decided I would do another, but made a conscious decision to write it after the finale – Which I absolutely loved, despite the fact that she left him, I still couldn't help but love it.**

**Now after much drafting and re-drafting, and much more writing then I first anticipated, I have finally finished.**

**I really hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it [It helped me escape from the world of looming A-levels]**

**Enjoy.**

His name was Gene Hunt and he was her guv.

He was everything she despised in men all rolled into one and yet he was the one who could make her feel safer, make her feel more passion and feel more alive than she had ever felt. He was infuriating, stubborn, childish, but he was her saviour, her lifeline, her constant.

He always smelt of a mixture of whisky, cigarette smoke and cheap aftershave and sometimes as she lay in her 2009 present, somewhere between the realms of conscious and unconsciousness she thought that she could smell that combination of aromas and for a moment she could believe that he was there with her and for those few wonderful minutes a sense of tranquillity calmed her ever buzzing body and mind.

It was only after leaving him that she realised how much she truly missed him, how hard this life was without him; it seemed slower than before, colder. It seemed to be lacking all the colour that it once contained, except Molly, she was her only spark of light in a world that seemed to be surrounded by an invisible darkness.

A part of her wished to return, if only once more, but she pushed that part of her mind into the deepest and very darkest corner because just the thought of going back, the thought of seeing him once more filled her with such sadness that suppressed her so deeply that she physically couldn't breathe.

She decided that she must forget if she had any hope of remaining in a sane mind; she would have to erase him completely and yet this itself was impossible with his face taking control of her mind. He was torturing her, ever day, morning through night. When alone in the house she could hear him calling for her by her old nickname that she loved and missed dearly, whenever she tried to concentrate he would invade, filling her mind with images of his office and with him telling her that he wanted her to stay, that she didn't have to go, all she had to do now was close her eyes and there he was. She couldn't escape him.

She had tried to find him after leaving the hospital, she had searched every police department's records with many late nights spent in libraries and speaking to many old and retired police officers and she had even driven up to Manchester herself when nothing arose from London yet she had found not one trace of him anywhere. Nobody from the 80's or 70's or even a minute few from the 60's remembers there being a Gene Hunt, nor Chris or Ray, Shaz and not even Sam Tyler and slowly as she watched the weeks slip by she began to wonder if she has imagined the whole thing, if the world that was filled with such colour, with people that had such life had all been in her head.

It was one week ago today that she had come to accept this thought after months of denial and determination she lay exhausted on her bed, an empty wine bottle beside her and with the heartbreaking acceptance that it all was just her imagination, it was just a very real dream. With this thought all she could do was cry herself to sleep.

She found herself on the streets of London, it was unfamiliar and yet she didn't feel afraid, she felt oddly calm. The sky was bright blue with specs of clouds, the sun beaming down on her skin and she closed her eyes letting the sensation wash over her. She opened her eyes and realised that the streets were empty, not a single soul to be seen, which was most peculiar with weather as glorious as this. Her legs then seemed to take on a mind of their own because the next thing she realised she was running, hard and fast until her legs burned and her lungs cried for relief, she turned corner after corner until her mind began to spin, her surroundings blurred, yet she still had no idea to where she was running.

Then she turned one final corner and she spotted it; Fenchurch East and inside sat its lion. This was why she was here; to see him one last time.

She stepped of the curb towards that building she missed so dearly.

Her eyes ripped open and looked onto a ceiling, her ceiling. She was back on her bed, in London, in 2009.

She closed her eyes tightly in frustration "It was just a dream" she told herself.

Could it be something more? How she wished it to be.

These 'dreams' became more frequent and longer, with her even reaching the doors of C.I.D.

On the 14th May 2009, exactly one month since she had awoken form her coma she felt odd, apprehensive almost that something _would_ happen today. She'd been on edge with colleagues, sent Molly to stay with Evan and now she sat a waited with nothing but a glass of wine and yet she knew the answer would lie in her sleep.

At 11:36 when she was certain nothing was going to happen in this world she decided to enter into another. Within 10 minutes she was drifting into a dream and found herself yet again on the streets of London, only this time the sky lay black with only the moon as the only source of light. The streets were deserted and the only sound was that of her echoing boots and for the first time she realised she was wearing the same clothes as those she was wearing on her last day here.

Usually she felt rushed knowing that at any moment she would awaken in the present, but tonight was different for reasons she couldn't explain. She turned that corner like she did almost every night and walked across the road and placed her hand cautiously on the door of Fenchurch East and for the first time she walked in.

She had to stifle a cry as she stood amazed in the middle of the room; it looked, smelled and tasted exactly the same, exactly as she remembered it. She felt her eyes begin to burn as she stood almost cemented to the spot as she just absorbed the scene.

Eventually the feelings in her legs returned and slowly she let them take her to him, because she knew he would be there, that was why she was here.

Walking through the corridors she had missed so much, memories that she had buried away resurfaced bringing tears to her eyes and with each step she took, her tears began to fall. Then she saw it, the double doors leading into C.I.D and a small sob broke free from her shaking body.

She couldn't breathe, not one breath.

Her lungs had failed her and the air that was always so willing had now deserted her.

Her mind screaming to her and yet she couldn't hear it.

She let her hand fall on the wooden doors and pushed lightly.

Her eyes scanned the room, filled with chairs, tables, paperwork, rubbish, pencils, pens; everything down to the smallest paperclip and it was _then_ that the true extent of how much she missed this place finally hit her. Her eyes feel on her desk that lay empty except for the delicate layer of dust that had gathered and she wondered how long she had been gone from this world; days, weeks, months or perhaps even years.

The Lion's den lay right before her, the door lay closed and the blinds shut with a light glow seeping through them. She knew he was inside, she was sure of it. She wondered if he had missed her as much as she had missed him. A memory surfaced

"_You'll miss me really"_

_She had stared at him with such intensity, looking for any sign that would give his true feelings away._

"_Yes Bolls I'd miss yer"_

She smiled briefly, but just for a moment before placing the memory back into that safe box where all of her memories from this world lay, where she could always reach them and where they were cherish, where not even the hand of time could compromise them.

She took her first step and almost collapsed; this may all be some kind of a dream but it was really taking its toll on her mentally and physically and still she knew that there was so much more to come. She recovered and took a shaky breath before taking her next step and another and another before eventually standing up against the door.

Her hand lay on the handle and the door swung open.

She looked into his eyes, just a glistening blue haze through her streaming brown ones, his hair windswept and his face half hidden in the darkness of the office. He was wearing that coat, the alcohol stained, smoke infested, black coat that she had missed.

Neither spoke, neither moved, neither of them even dared to breath for fear of destroying this moment, this seemingly impossible moment.

"G – Gene?" she choked on his name after being unable to speak it for so long.

"Blood 'ell I am drunk"

"Nothing's changed then" she tried to smile, but her lips were only able to flicker.

He picked up a cigarette and stroke his lighter, raising it to the tip it burned a fiery red and the smoke then seeped from his nostrils, before he forcefully blew the rest from his mouth.

"What are yer then; ghost of the Christmas past, present or future?"

She didn't respond to his question she just stared at him in such glorious disbelief, she thought she would never see him again and yet here he was, practically a metre from her and as she breathed him she smelt that aroma that she had missed so much and instantly she felt safe.

"It's so good to see you; I'd thought I'd never see you again"

She saw that look, one she had seen so often; a deeply creased forehead, a small pout and eye like wildfire trying to see through somebody, looking for their truth.

He didn't believe her.

"It's me Guv, I don't know how and I don't know why, but I'm here"

He didn't say anything, only stared.

"Yer not Alex"

Her heart froze "Why do you think that?"

"Because Alex is dead"

She felt it as if the air surrounding had been stolen and for a few moments she couldn't breathe, unable to comprehend the information that she had just received. She couldn't be dead, her mind refused to believe.

"What?"

"Year ago t'day. She collapsed in 'ere." He swallowed "Doc said it was some kind of thing in 'er 'ead, some kind of technical bollocks... an amonism, somethin' like that"

"An aneurism?" her voice quivered unable to withhold the tension from the tears.

"So yer can't be 'er." he paused and she watched as he relived it, the pain evident. He looked back at her with a kind of sharpness, his voice low "Now I don't know what kind of game my mind is playin' on me but It stops 'ere!" his tight fist collided with the table as his anger escaped, causing her to jump.

She had to convince him that it was her; she tried to think of something, anything. She reached into that box in her mind again and flicked though all of her memories.

She had one; something she knew he would never expect her to know and yet she had known for a very long time now.

"You drew a doddle, not long after I arrived of the two of us and I was in a very... unladylike position"

"This supposed to impress me? Supposed to convince me that yer real?"

She knew he was right, telling him something he already knew was just going to feed the belief that she wasn't real and was only an image projected from his subconscious, telling him things his subconscious already knew. She looked around hopelessly trying to think of something that he wouldn't know, but the trouble was he knew everything she could tell, she had never been able to keep anything from him while she was here and now it was coming back to haunt her.

Then she saw it; a pristine white envelope with her handwriting on the front.

_Gene_

It was her letter; the one she had written to him over a year ago and there it lay before her, unopened.

"I can tell you what it says" she nodded to the letter and watched his eyes flicker to the envelope and then back to hers. His jaw muscles clenched and he drew hard on his smoking cigarette.

"Go on then, amaze me with yer magical powers"

She cautiously moved across the empty space between them and took up the vacant chair on the opposite side of the desk and she suddenly felt nervous, this was her one chance, but it had been a while since she had put her pen to that particular piece of paper and a lot had happened since then.

"Um..."

"Good way to start the letter"

She closed her eyes and just spoke what came naturally.

"Dearest Gene, the lion of Fenchurch East. The first thing I believe I should do is apologise to you for having left you, with or without having the chance to have a proper goodbye. I feel you should know that I have loved my time here and the idea of staying, I must confess, is tempting as you have shown me how life should be, how it _could_ be with _you_. That said my staying is impossible because no matter how tempting the idea I have a daughter and she is waiting for me to blow the candles out with her and I can't let her down.

I will not offer you advice nor will I make any attempt to psychoanalyse you because I know that you would never change and I wouldn't want you to. You are something very special Gene Hunt.

I want you to know that wherever I am I will be thinking of you and will carry you with me as you have been my only constant within this place and have been what has kept me going, you have been my saviour and in the process have implanted a bit of yourself in me, changing me into a better person.

It is hard to think to think of a life without you in it, but unfortunately when you read this I shall be in such a place, but I will be happy because I will be with my daughter but I shall never fill the void that shall arise without your presence.

I know that you shall miss me, although I must say not as much as I will miss you. If you ever feel lonely then just know that I am there with you just as you are with me. Yours forever and always Bolly."

"Who'd of thought I'd 'ave such a poetic subconscious" he jabbed out the last of his cigarette.

"Read it for yourself"

His eyes flickered once more between the letter and then back to her eyes. His lips tightened; his giveaway sign of his nervousness. After a hesitant moment he reached over to the letter as casual as possible and ripped open the envelope and unfolded the piece of paper within.

She watched as his eyes scanned across the page, making quick jumps from left to right and as his eyes made their way lower and lower down the page the frown on his forehead became deeper and more defined.

He must have read the letter more than once with the amount of time he spent staring at it, when he had finally finished he met her gaze.

"How?"

"Because I wrote it, Alex Drake, your Bolly – "

"No, _my_ Bolly is dead" He seemed frozen by his own words "she died, in my arm, I held her as..." she could hear the shakiness of his breath as he fought down his heartbreaking emotions. She could see it all in his eyes, he had become the master of his poker face but his eyes always let him down, she was always able to see his pain through them just as she could now and it was then that she realised why she was there.

"I'm here to help you Guv. I'm here to give you closer, but to do that I need you to believe what I am telling you that I am the real Alex Drake" she didn't take her eyes from him, but he wouldn't meet hers. He just kept staring at the letter that lay on the desk and she knew he was making a decision whether to believe her or not.

"If yer not dead then what are yer?" he still didn't meet her gaze

"I'm asleep on my bed, in my home, on the 14th May 2009, exactly one month after waking from my coma from a bullet to the head"

Then he looked at her and she saw as everything feel into place for him.

"_I'm from the future, I was shot and I woke up here with you... and it's insane, but there it is"_

"_You can't tell me the truth"_

"_I did, I know you can possible comprehend it but I did"_

"_y'know its jus' struck me how truly cold you are Drake. Y'told me once yer had a daughter Y'dont phone 'er, y'never talk 'bout 'er, never try 'n see 'er"_

"_After_ _being shot I landed in your world"_

"_Now I don't know if you're dead or if you're in a coma like me"_

"_So that yer plan was it, destroy me so's you can get ''ome'? Wake up from yer 'coma'"_

"I was telling you the truth, all this time"

"I need a drink" he got up from behind his desk and opened his filling cabinet retrieving a new unopened bottle of whisky and filled a glass "want one?"

"Why not" he poured another glass for her and passed it to her.

"Drinking whisky now then?" he sat back in his seat.

"No, you know me guv I'm a wine girl, but I really need a drink" she tipped the glass back and let the amber liquid burn its way down her throat making her cough slightly, whereas the experienced Gene Hunt swallowed with no problem.

After a moments silenced he spoke.

"So what, yer a time traveller?"

"I don't know" she smiled "Must be"

Something changed in his eyes; they seemed to soften "I've missed that"

"What?"

"Yer smile, didn't think I'd seen it again"

"I've missed you too... All of you Ray, Chris, Shaz I have missed you all so much. How are they?"

"Ray's now our D.I. and still chasing a different bird every week, Chris is still wearing his dopey grin and that ridiculous denim jacket and Shaz is now Mrs. Dopey grin and this department's DC, still makes the tea though mind"

"That's brilliant"

He nodded lightly with a slight grunt as approval.

"How have _you_ all been... without _me?_"

"Just peachy, we do what we always do Bolly, catchin' scum, only now I'm able to make decisions around 'ere without somebody goin' against me every word, I'm able to 'ave a drink in peace and able ter drive without somebody nagging me ter put me bloody seatbelt on"

She rolled her eyes at him and watched as he took out a cigarette.

"That said, missed 'aving yer arse ter sneak a peek at and dare I even say it but at time I even miss your psychiatry bollocks"

"Its psychology"

He smiled and even released a little chuckle, remembering that ongoing argument between them, but within seconds the atmosphere had changed, becoming heavier.

"It hit me 'ard Bolly, when yer... Well when yer left. I 'eld yer in my arms and watched the light go out in yer eyes and I jus' sat there, 'elpless" he pulled hard on his cigarette.

Her chest tightened at the thought, how it must have been for him, she could barely think of how she would have felt if it was the other way around. "I'm so sorry it had to happen that way"

"It broke me Bolly"

"Gene..."

"Don't you dare get all girly on me, you've got that look in yer eye that yer about ter say something that is goin' ter make me very uncomfortable"

She couldn't help but smile, she really had missed him.

"It's not been easy for me either I've been home now for a month and I still can bring myself to think about you, because _If_ I think about you even for a moment then I realise how much I miss you, and it hurts and then I begin to wish to see you again and that hurts even more" she felt the tears burning away at her eyes and tried to blink them away, but she felt as one single tear escaped and ran across her cheek.

"I know" he hesitated "Alex" the use of her first name always signifying a serious topic "Are yer 'appy?"

"Yes Gene I am, I'm back with my daughter, my baby, and she makes me happy"

"You deserve 'appiness Alex" he smiled lightly at her, letting her know that if she was happy then that was all he needed "So go on then we all floatin' 'round in 'over cars or what in the future?"

"Not quite" she giggled "But I'll tell you something Guv, Man United are beating Man City by miles"

"Don't believe it"

"It's true"

"No bloody way"

"I'm sorry Gene, but you can't escape it. In thirty years' time your beloved team shall be trailing behind, while Man United claims the title"

"Tellin' yer Bolly yer gettin' 'em mixed up"

She couldn't help but laugh; it had only been one month since she had last sat here, with him, but it felt like a lifetime. It was then that she realised that for Gene she hadn't sat here or been with him for over a year, and worse than that he had to live with the image of her death and she knew then why he had only just been able to open that letter from her, it was because, up until now, it was all he had left of her.

"There was a time Gene when I couldn't stand you, you were everything I despised in men all rolled into one and yet If I could go back and save myself from the bullet I wouldn't, because you somehow have become someone very special to me and I will miss you with all of my heart. You're my saviour Gene"

"Thank you"

"For what?"

"You bein' 'ere... It 'elped me with... y'know"

"That's why I'm here – to give you closure"

It was almost as if something shifted, not physically but mentally and she knew her time here was coming to an end. Panic began to settle in, how could she leave this place again when it was so hard the first time? She couldn't go through it again and yet she knew that she must, but before the inevitable came she would leave with no regrets, with nothing she wished she had said and done.

She had to tell him before she left.

"Guv I... I think my time is running out here, I can feel it, but before I go I need you to know something, something that isn't in the letter. When I wrote it I don't think I even realised, it was only after being away from you for so long and realising just how much I miss you. You have some kind of power over me and I miss you so much more than I ever thought possible" she felt the tear fall, but she couldn't stop because if she stopped she would never tell him "I guess what I'm trying to say is that, well... I love you and I don't even understand why, but I just do."

His face didn't change and yet again it was his eyes that showed the truth; a burst of life with a tinge of sadness.

He coughed uncomfortably "Um... Yeah 'nd erm, you too Bolly"

"Yeah and you Bolls what?"

"Does it really need sayin'" his voice so painful as she knew what he was telling her, but she also knew that he wasn't strong enough to say those three words to her especially when he knew that in a matter if minutes they would be separated once again.

"No I supposed it doesn't" she smiled lightly at him.

"Will I see yer 'gain?"

"I don't know. I've done what I came here to do, but I hope I do" she thought about asking him. She decided against it, but then she remembered that she planned to leave here with no regrets.

"Do you know something Gene, I always wanted to have a dance with you, just assumed I'd get my wish at Chris and Shaz's wedding. Looks like I won't ever get to take the Gene Genie fer a spin"

"Yer could 'ave taken me fer a spin any day of the week Bolly" she knew what he was implying and she just rolled her eyes – typical Gene.

He walked over to her and lifted her from the chair so that he was pressed against her. Her hands took control and slowly slid up his chest and wrapping around his neck with his hands landing on her hips, all the while never taking her eyes off his.

"We don't have any music" she laughed.

"We don't need any"

They began to sway in the silence. She let her head rest on the comforting warmth of his shoulder and felt as he placed the lightest form of a kiss onto her forehead. She felt as if she were flying, that her feet weren't really on the ground but somewhere up in the clouds, away from everything that wasn't him. Her heart ached for her to stay in this moment, just for a few seconds longer because she knew any second now she would be stolen from its comfort and find herself back in the arms of an empty bed.

They swayed from side to side in a glorious contentment for what seemed like an hour and yet weren't nearly long enough for the both of them. The tension and heat building, it was suffocating her, so much so she was surprised that the windows around them had not yet steamed up.

"So 'ow'd yer find out 'bout the doodle?" his voice low breaking the tension that had formed and suddenly she found she could breath once more.

"Let's just say that the team find it hard to keep a secret" she smiled.

"Bastards, they'll be doing paperwork fer a month"

She lifted her head as she felt the warmth around her being to fade. She looked him straight in the eyes; she didn't need to say anything because he already knew; he already knew how her heart was breaking because his was breaking too, he already knew that she would give anything just to spend one more night here because he would give anything too and he knew how much she loved him because he loved her just as much.

"Gene..."

"I know"

The world began to darken, but in her last few moments she let her head lean forward and her lips meet his once again. He felt so perfect against her as they let their bodies move into each other and it was in that moment that she realised that she didn't want to go, she couldn't lose him, not again. It was hard enough the first time and she was unsure if her heart could manage a second.

She felt as the tears began to fall, her heart breaking as she felt the warmth of Gene begin to fade. Her lips torn from his as she was pulled from his world and back into her own and yet as she opened her eyes, looking upon her 2009 ceiling once more she heard his voice echo within her head:

"see yer 'round Bollykegs"

She stared at her ceiling, replaying his voice over and over for fear of forgetting it. She let herself relive the kiss, relive his touch and smell and she realised that she was now without him.

She lay very still, unable to move. _He was gone._

It was then that she began to cry, silent slow tears at first but soon they grew into chest shaking howls.

She couldn't cry another tear as they had all been used on him and in the silence she heard what sounded like the television and yet she was sure she has turned it off last night. She felt a strong undeniable urge to walk to investigate and yet as she tried to stand she realised just how weak she was.

She took her time, one slow step followed by another with the sound of the television becoming more and more defined.

"_Exactly one month ago today the body of a young police office was found in a shallow grave in Lancaster"_

Her heart beat tripled and yet she couldn't understand why. She moved faster until she stood in front of the screen itself.

"_Today, we can confirm that the body belong to that of Gene Hunt who experts say died approximately 50 years ago by a single shotgun wound to the head. He is believed to have died in duty and will be given a proper funeral in the upcoming week. More on this story next"_

She didn't realise as she collapsed on the ground, but the next thing she knew was that she was lying on her carpet being bombarded with question after question from her mind _did this mean that Gene Hunt was real? What was the place she had spent three years in? What was Gene Hunt's role?_

She wasn't sure how long she spent lying on that floor, but when she found the strength to stand her mind had come to a conclusion; it didn't matter. It didn't matter the Gene Hunt she knew was real because he was real enough to her, it didn't matter what that place was because for three years it was her home and she had loved every second.

But the role of Gene Hunt, she felt, deserved more than an ordinary answer, as he was far from ordinary. His role in her life was something that would be with her always and she came to a conclusion:

His name was Gene Hunt and he was her guv.

More than that; he was her friend, he gave her something to live for when she felt as if she had nothing left, he had let her into his world of wonderment and showed her a life she could never have even dreamed, he was so much more than she ever thought possible. She loved him and though he may be dead in this world, in her heart and mind he was very much alive.

**Thank you for reading and I truly hope that you liked it. Please if you'd be so kind as to let me know your views I would very much appreciate it and I will of course respond ... [when I find the time around these A-levels that is] Thanks again!**


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